Thursday, July 26, 2012
If you must answer questions considering divorce
Relationship problems, relationship pain and frustration does not always mean divorce.
Below are questions you should ask yourself before divorce:
Do you still have feelings for your partner?
Have diminished your feelings or feel helpless in the face a problem in the marriage and because of this, there is a lack of emotional closeness. If there are still feelings of love and affection, then you should work on the relationship before deciding on divorce.
You do not want to get caught in the emotions of a situation such as divorce and then realize you've made a mistake. If there is still love, find a couple in therapy to help you overcome feelings of loss through a divorce unnecessary.
Why start there was a marriage?
If your marriage never existed, a divorce can be the answer. Marriage is a union of two people working in the best interest of the relationship. Married couples working together for the good of the relationship. If there is no "partner" and only two people fighting for their own interests, then now would be a good time to separate.
Do you really want a divorce or just a threat?
Are you angry with your spouse and ask for a divorce just for that? Do you use threats of divorce as a means to gain power over your partner?
Do you feel frustrated and with a threat of divorce finally get their attention?
If you are seeking solutions, threats of divorce will be for naught. You need therapy for that. In the case of divorce, stop threatening and just do it, just the right way get informed about the process of divorce.
Your decision is based on an emotional state?
If you are ready for divorce, you have to leave aside any emotional attachment of your spouse. Good and bad feelings often conflict. Deciding on divorce at a time when you feel overwhelmed / a by the emotions will not solve the problems.
Unless you can see your husband / wife as a person who deserves respect, even during the divorce process, things will work out. If you can not do this, the divorce process is filled with frustration, anger and distrust of the motives of your spouse.
What is motivating the divorce?
Depends on what divorce means something to you and your spouse and treat you better? Maybe you'll realize what he lost and make the necessary changes to make. If so, divorce is for the wrong reasons. Divorce only promotes conflict, not solve it.
All that the divorce is going to do is to end your marriage and family separate. If you want a change in the dynamics between you and your spouse is not divorce you want. Something to think about, once you are divorced, your spouse is free to create emotional bonds with others. If you think you are not comfortable with that, think twice before asking for a divorce.
Have you thought about the negative consequences of divorce?
Divorce can mean a loss of dreams and goals. Even if it's positive goals, divorce requires a support system to help you deal with stress related.
Are you able to act in a mature handle after the divorce?
Your attitude will determine what kind of life you will have after the divorce. Will you be strong? Will you have responsibilities and leave aside the anger and resentment? Will you still bitter, resentful, or you feel a victim of circumstance? The attitude you choose to live determines not only the type of divorce, but the life we lead.
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